May I see some ID please?

Isn't this pretty? It is the new little purse my husband gave me for Christmas. It is just the right size to hold the few necessities I need most of the time. Otherwise, it is small enough to pop into a larger handbag. I love it. There's even a place to hook my car keys on the outside.

I blame this purse, or more specifically the transition to this purse, for sidetracking my morning.

I had originally planned to spend a little time at school volunteering. First, however, I needed to refill a prescription via our new drug provider's online mail service. I had been assured in all the literature provided that our old prescriptions would be automatically transferred to the new company so that we could access them immediately for refills on January 1, 2009.

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. And we all come from an alien planet out there in a solar system far far away (Oh wait. Some people actually believe this and call it a religion. Never mind.....)

Well, I don't suppose anyone will be surprised to learn that I could not refill my prescription. They did not have the old prescription on file. According to the website, it did not exist. Onward to Customer Service. I'd been warned that M* *** has morons working their Customer Service lines, so when "Pat" answered I was skeptical. I'm still skeptical, but I can't even begin to figure out if M**** is to blame or WHI (Walgreen's Humongous Idiots), our former druggie provider, is the culprit. The "tape" has not yet been transferred OR it has not yet been uploaded to the system. She had no way of knowing which was the case, but I need to try back in another day or so. What if I run out of my prescription? Well, arrange for a two week supply locally, she suggested. This, of course, will cost me the same as about a 6 week supply if the damn thing was available online the way it was supposed to be, but I truly did not see this as her fault, so I thanked her and hung up.

When I went to replace the ID card for the drugs in my cute little purse, I noticed my driver's license was not in there. I looked again. I emptied everything out on the bed. I emptied my entire handbag out on the bed. I checked the hidey hole where I keep the stack of credit cards, etc., I rarely use and never carry with me. I checked all my pockets. I checked other purses. I went back and rechecked everything a second time. No license.

Okay. Back to the computer. I could order a replacement online, or I could toddle on down to the nearest DMV office (no, they didn't suggest I toddle, but I'm trying to maintain my sense of humor). I called the one nearest me to make sure they did renew licenses because the website was vague (I think websites are purposesly vague, don't you?). Yes, they did, and it didn't matter they were in a different county. Just bring my original SS card, and they could accommodate me.

It wasn't terribly crowded, and I was the second one on the list, so the wait was quite bearable. The man who helped was very nice. He was extremely polite when he told me there was no license registered with that SSN. I was just as polite when I informed him that was the correct SSN, and I did not understand the problem. Luckily, we were both feeling warm and fuzzy, and he checked using my name and address. Up popped ME, but only after I remembered to tell him that the license, for some reason I never understood, had my middle name listed as my maiden name instead of my middle initial like every other freaking piece of identification in my entire life.

So we were able to make me a brand spanking new license. It's one of the nice state of the art kind with the hologram and the fancy graphics. My old one was from the 80s. Seriously. I have no idea why they allowed me to keep renewing the thing by mail. I mean, I'm about 20 years younger in that picture.

However, I was informed that sometime before 2010 I was going to have to get yet another new license. Why? Apparently, there is a new law going into effect which will require our ID to have identical names. If not, they will not accept it as valid. So the whole process will need be repeated in the next year. And it will cost me another $15.25. Why couldn't I just change it then and there? They need to see my original marriage license. Don't ask me why this is necessary if my SS card has my current name. Don't ask me why I couldn't have known this before leaving the house. Don't even ask me why I accepted this all in good humor.

I blame President Obama. He just makes it all seem a little easier to take.